My LA Encounter With a New Age Trumpist

Gentleman Bandit
9 min readSep 7, 2020

I finally got to meet one of those Trumpist QAnon New Agers everyone’s been talking about. She was a friend of a friend who met up with us on Venice Beach, a major center of my childhood that I hadn’t visited in ten years or more. She kept the conversation light for a bit, but once we sat down for drinks she wasted no time in asking, “What’s going on in Hollywood, huh?”

My friends were like, “Um… I don’t know… not much… COVID, you know…”

The FOF said, “I mean, like, what’s happening with this crazy thing going on that everyone’s talking about?”

I knew what she meant. “She’s talking about QAnon. All that Satanic Pedophile Cult shit.”

And she was, too, but she didn’t want to get right into that. She “talked around it,” as a Syrian refugee friend of mine used to say. We told her sex trafficking is real; but it’s got more to do with billionaires, gangsters, and intelligence agencies than with movie stars.

“Isn’t it true, though? Aren’t there a lot of Satanists in Hollywood?”

“I know a bunch of Satanists,” I told her, “and I’ve never known any of them to fuck kids. They’re honestly a little on the boring side. No child fucking or devil worship at Hollywood mansion parties I’ve been to, either. I think of all that QAnon stuff as a red herring, basically — it’s a way of taking our concern about abused children and using it to prop up the Trump administration.”

“Don’t you think it’s strange, though, that what QAnon and Trump are saying is also being said by Energy Healers all over the world?”

Like I said, I’ve seen and heard a number of people commenting on this phenomenon, but always from the anti-Trump perspective. That is, from people who can’t understand how such enlightened and spiritual people could ever support a bad guy like Trump. I don’t find it the least bit unusual.

“Well…” I hesitated. “I don’t know what your deal is, and I hope you won’t be offended by this, but it’s because Energy Healers base their lives on something that isn’t real. So do Trumpists — their core beliefs are make-believe, just like the core beliefs of New Agers. If you can simultaneously believe in Jesus, Buddha, Shiva, Horus, and Hermes; why not throw Trump and Q in there too…

Gentleman Bandit

Writing about politics, world events, and entertainment from my home on the endless road.